I was now excited. He asked for a drink and raised his hand and placed it on either side of the headrest of the couch. I’m sure it was deliberate. His armpits were inches away from my face. While I was busy going haywire over his armpits, he pulled out his phone and asked me to pose for him. We clicked a few pictures and then I took his phone for seeing the pics. Just then, a notification popped up. It was from grindr now it was sure that he either is bi or gay! He was busy with his drink and I opened grindr and saw some of his pictures. Nude. Shirtless. I was breathless now. He caught me and snatched his phone and was visibly embarrassed he stood up and was about to go when I held his hand and stood up.‘I saw what I had too, and it made me happy’ I said with a wink. Suddenly his expressions changed and were happy rather he confessed that he was attracted to me. We stood there silently and then we kissed. Amidst mad people dancing like crazy, we were enjoying our own privacy. He. People like me, we don’t get options. Those are up there with the breaks and the chances, the things that are always just out of reach. ‘We’re going to get you up to a private room and once you’re settled in, probably in the morning, an oncologist will come in to talk to you,’ the doctor was telling me. ‘An oncologist is a cancer specialist, they’ll be able to tell you more.’ He was hurrying now, wanting to get a move on, get to patients he could actually work with. I was only a pitstop for this guy, a quick detour from his being a real doctor and helping real patients, and I could tell he wanted to get going. That was all right, I wanted him out of the room just as quickly. Doctors are so fucking smug. I held my jaw in a grimace, wanting the two of them to leave, not wanting them to see the tears that were beginning to moisten my eyes, not wanting my mother to see either, I didn’t want tears to come at all. But I’ve got cancer now, now there was no pretending or denying or saying.
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